boundbynaught | IC Inbox for empatheias

No.

[ The word is said softly while fingers finish with buttoning up his shirt. He can't even blame Arden for thinking this was Sora's idea. Although, sure, their last conversations hadn't been as bad as their first couple but, still, it's not as though they're... friends.

Coming to run a set of fingers through his hair, he allows his hand to fall to his side and stares to Arden and only Arden. Typically, it's been looking at him or around him. But right now, in this moment, he's looking to him. Completely. ]

You're the only one here who can understand this.

[ Understand the darkness... his darkness. ]

[ Arden's fists clench at his side - nervous to even talk about this now not because it involved Sora but because of the implication he would be willing to do something similar with and on behalf of Riku. He can scarcely believe that telling stories about what happened to Sora would cease to be the thing that most worried him when it came to talking with Riku. Sora wouldn't get mad at him for telling Riku things the same way that Riku would get mad at him for telling Sora things, of that he's pretty sure.

... But this stuff happened to Sora during a time when he was still very strongly attached to Sora in a way that he called love. So that stressed him out like none other to cut out of the stories. Then there was the suggestion that maybe Riku could benefit from something similar - if that was even possible. ]

I understand... that... Sora has had problems with his Anti-Form before. I helped him after those two times. It didn't hurt him like a dark fire though and nothing like this has actually happened to me.

[ He purses his lips flat and then swallows hard before continuing. ]

So the only way I know of that might get rid of that... It... It's a half-Verens emotion thing.

[ A connection that is far, far away from barely-tolerable housemates. ]

[ That's what he had been waiting to hear: if this had happened to Arden at any point in time. It hadn't and that alone has Riku sigh. He wasn't sure what he had been hoping for, what he had wanted that answer to actually be and so, he comes to sit down on the bed, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose. ]

It's fine.

[ The way he says those words... he sounds tired... emotionally, head hanging some while fingers slip away from his face and comb through his silver hair again before another sigh leaves his lips and he glances off to the side. ]

I figured it was just a me thing. It's just getting worse instead of better.

[ His darkness, he means. ]

[ He's not really sure he can phrase this delicately. Maybe he shouldn't even try. His fists unclench, but his head stays lowered, still feeling second-hand intensity from when Riku had been staring at him before. ]

I'm not saying I can't do it. I'm saying you're asking to create a bond between us that you specifically told me you didn't want anything to do with.

[ Of all the things that Sora can do, this is one aspect he can't help Riku with. For all he knew, Naminé could be capable of it as well, just because of her strong ties to the people in Sora's life. Arden knows that the only reason he can do anything like this now is because he allowed a piece of light back into his life, while working to stop rejecting how he was created out of darkness and thus shared an eternal connection to it - through Riku. ]

Depending on how much it hurts, how long you think you can last before it consumes you, I can try to think of something else.

[ That fight with Vanitas had already been awhile ago, after all. Arden knew exactly what day Vanitas fought Riku, because it had been earlier on the same day Arden fought him. ]

Edited 2018-04-16 06:03 (UTC)

[ A bond... it hadn't been what Riku had called Arden here for. Some insight, yes, perhaps even a means to understand what any of this could mean. But a bond... no, that hadn't been the reason for this and Riku can only sigh again.

But with how unpredictable his darkness has become over the past few weeks, he isn't so sure what might happen anymore. Nightmares on top of marks that have scarred his body... add to that the whole emotions physically effecting ones surroundings and he has no idea what to expect anymore... let alone if there's much hope for anything to get better.

So, it's after a moment of silence that Riku finally speaks. ]

Arden...

[ And it's the way Riku says his name that is almost a foreshadowing of something morbid to come... ]

If this becomes too much... if it doesn't get better and anything happens to me... can you take care of Sora?

Please.

Edited 2018-04-16 06:26 (UTC)

[ His fists clench again. ]

First of all, of course I will. You don't know how many times I've done that already. I owe him my life.

[ He thought he told Riku that - not why, but that he did. Maybe. He's not going to argue that part, simply reinforce. ]

But second of all, are you trying to say you don't think I can pull this off? Because I'm over here trying not to force you into something you'll get mad at me for. I didn't say I wouldn't... try...

[ There's nerves that could very well betray his boast, but that's because he's so torn up over this. To be in a position where he COULD help Riku but to say that he WON'T... how could he ever face Sora again like that? He couldn't. Which leaves him with this one option that he has to make sure Riku is actually turning him down on. Make him refuse, then Arden's conscience is clear. ]

[ Riku is silent for a long moment as he sits there on the bed. Of course he figured the other would say something like that in regards to taking care of Sora and yet... he felt it just needed to be said, even if for his own sake... or perhaps peace of mind.

However, as listens to Arden, as he comes to understand what it is that he's trying to say in regards to the whole not being able to pull it off thing, he stares to some of the marks on the inside of his arm, sleeve pushed back, the pads of his fingers brushing over them as he sits there. Thinking. ]

I'm not asking you to do anything. I'm asking what you think this could mean, if you knew what it could be or how to make it go away. [ But, after a moment- ] What kind of bond are you talking about exactly?

[ He rolls his eyes a little at 'how to make it go away' - that's exactly what he's trying to explain, isn't he? At least Riku hasn't told him to get lost. Yet. ]

Well Sora and I were friends when I did this - both times.

[ And... more on his end but... he's going to assume that friendship is the low bar here. ]

The point is that I was looking into his heart, trying to help him balance out his Light and Dark again. I know your... I know you can withstand more of the Darkness than he can, but it was still over his limit. I tried to help him get back closer to that level he was comfortable at, but I wasn't doing it with some kind of spell the way I cast Fira or a Sleight. I have to assume it was dunamis, the kind of thing where emotions... and hearts connect.

[ HENCE HIS CONCERN. ]

[ Make it go away in a way that isn't forming a bond!! Sheesh. However, Riku's silent as Arden explains and slowly comes to blink behind his blindfold as he considers... what that might mean. ]

Is this permanent?

[ This... bond. This... connecting of hearts. ]

[ He shakes his head. ]

No, I don't think so.

[ He'd like to believe the friendship was stronger for it, but he knows that's not what Riku's asking. He's asking about the bond, and the way that Ventus described his connection to Sora makes Arden think of a permanent bond. It's definitely not been like that for Arden. ]

You don't think so.

[ The words are muttered softly, not to chide or be sarcastic. More like... an understanding of what it is that Arden is telling him: it could very well be a gamble for the both of them. ]

I guess it's an option.

It's not like I have anyone else to compare this against in less than two years in this place.

[ As if Naminé would ever need something like this to happen, nor has he been around her for as long as Sora. ]

... Fine, I'll go ask Sora first.

[ Since to him, this still sounds pretty time-sensitive. He's moving to leave the room since he's either going to find Sora somewhere in the house or contact him on the Amulet to ask him that way. ]

[ He's about to let Arden leave when he speaks up then- ]

How exactly do you think this will work?

[ This... bond, connection of hearts. ]

Do you need to... face my darkness?

[ He turns back. It's a strange question to him, but then he knows this isn't something either of them are used to even in their own world. ]

No, it's not like that. You're the one struggling. In your case, since you're conscious...

[ He places his hand on his own chest. ]

I'd have to let you see my heart first. That lets you use me as a sort of... compass? To help you do what you need to do on your own.

But how could that...

[ Make these scars go away?

Riku comes to sigh, giving a shake of his head and goes about quietly rolling his sleeve back down to cover the marks that he had been looking at on the inside of his arm. ]

I don't know why it's reacting like this. My only guess was that it has something to do with the emotional effects this world seems to has.

... How do you think I got rid of the ice in your throat?

[ He crosses his arms. ]

It's more or less the same thing. The only difference there was I was forcing you to accept my help and calm down in the process. Because those scars aren't going away, I figure I can't just force my dunamis on you again.

[ But what if this is something not even Arden can fix? Although, if the light can't seem to make them disappear, maybe the darkness can... hence his coming to Arden about this.

However, still unsure with this, Riku just sighs and looks up to the other. ]

Right. Fair enough. I just...

[ Feel tired. ]

...thank you, Arden.

[ SAY WHAT.

WHAT DID RIKU JUST.

WHAT.

His hands come up anxiously. ]

You can't just say that when I haven't even done anything!

[ He pulls his hands back then, still incredibly nervous. ]

I'm just... trying to repay my debts, is all.

[ Glancing up through the blindfold at how Arden reacts to such words, Riku can't help but... laugh. Well, softly, that is. More like under his breath, really. But... the point is that it's there and he even smiles some with a slow shake of his head before he eventually comes to fall back against the mattress. ]

Don't say that. You remind me of someone I know.

[ Himself. ]

[ Both of his hands go up to his neck as he sighs. That used to be all he wanted, then all he hated, being compared to Riku. Now Riku's joking about it. His mouth quirks up on one side, though... because it was kind of funny. A little. That he's being so overly-cautious around Riku he'd end up literally mirroring some of Riku's own habits back at him. He's gotten so much calmer and straight-forward with most people... but then something like this happens around Riku himself. ]

Too late to take it back, I guess.

[ He lets one hand fall. ]

... So what do you want to do?

[ Even if those scars do look pretty bad to his eyes, he still thinks it would be worse to force Riku into something. ]

I could try just touching them and see if the Cure combo works again.

[ To be fair, Riku is... trying. He really is, regardless of how slow or careful he may seem with doing so. There's just... so much on his mind, so much on his plate, so much that he's still trying to come to terms with that he needs to take it all one day at a time, focus on certain things at certain times, not simply try to do it all at once, in one go.

Riku doesn't bother to move, let alone glance over to Arden and yet, he can almost see the other's reaction to his words in his mind's eye and that alone has him keep that smile on his lips for about another three seconds before he sighs to himself. ]

If you want. Don't think it will make much of a difference.

[ Although Sora had been able to ease the pain of them, he couldn't make them disappear, let alone fade and that alone had Riku come to think that they were something a simple Cure spell couldn't fix. ]

[ In Arden's mind, any version of this that doesn't require a heart connection is worth a shot. So he walks over and just focuses on Riku's arm. He can sense it now, close as he is with Riku on the bed, how much of Riku's Darkness that is normally a subtle expression is suddenly much stronger, like the difference between one drop of concentrated flavor in a cookie recipe compared with five.

He slowly lowers one hand and rests it on Riku's arm. He can't feel Riku's pain or anything special from just that gesture. However, Arden's idea goes beyond the Cure, because if that would have worked, he's sure Sora would have been better at it. So no, his idea is more that too much of Riku's Darkness is at the superficial level... so maybe he can just draw some of it out? To do that though, he had to try combining dunamis with the... 'skill' that it took to draw power from Zexion. So a nonlethal version. That's the plan, anyway.

So his Cure spell goes purple this time instead of green. His dunamis isn't the warm fuzzy feelings he can access when thinking of Sora either; he's hyper-vigilant over trying to keep Riku and himself distinct from one another, to not keep mirroring one another like when he acted in a way that Riku would joke about it. It warps the purple with teal and mint green with the two-pronged envy for Riku's lot and appreciation for being confided in like this. What Arden doesn't consider is that Aiada is who he's aligned with, so it ends up more powerful on top of staying nonlethal as he wished.

In his effort to relieve some of Riku's pain, the end result is that the purple-teal swirls wrap around Riku's arm like a sleeve and then curl up at the elbow over to Arden's elbow, completing a circuit down to where his hand is on Riku's arm. The circuit starts to sting and Arden thinks it's just a circumstance of what he's trying to do.

After a few seconds though, it really starts to sting, and he ends up stepping back with his hand snapping away like he just touched the oven burner on accident while it was still turned on. He hisses a little and then holds his hand out to make sure he did not in fact burn his fingertips somehow.

... Well, he didn't. But. There's some of that Darkness scarring on his own arm now. It's not as bad as Riku's - which was all over his chest AND arm - and now Riku's arm scarring is lighter than his chest. Arden continues to stare at his arm, confused, as the stinging starts to dull to an annoying kind, like a lingering bruise. ]

Edited 2018-04-20 04:34 (UTC)

[ Initially, Riku doesn't give any of this much thought. Not to dismiss Arden's offer or have him feel insignificant, but if Sora wasn't able to fade these scars that have littered themselves across his arms and chest, then what chance did he have with something like a Cure spell?

So, when Arden begins this "Cure spell", as he believes it to be, Riku simply lays there on the bed and allows his eyes to fall shut. In truth, these scars have felt like an emotional drain of sorts on top of everything else that has been plaguing his mind as of late and it's left the silver-haired teen feeling tired and wanting to sleep a lot more than he typically does. Meaning? He's seconds away from falling asleep right there on the bed.

But it's when he feels... something between then, a sort of tingling sensation that eyes open behind that blindfold and he slowly blinks a few times as it suddenly dawns on him that this is NOT a Cure spell and this is something else entirely.

It's too late, however, Riku hearing Arden hiss as he snaps back which causes him to quickly sit up and reach out to grab at the other's wrist. ]

What did you do?

[ At first the words are firm, as if chiding him and fingers come to wrap tightly around that wrist before his voice becomes more soft. ]

What did you do, Arden?

[ He thinks Riku is mad at him at first, but the repeated tone alleviates some of the tension, along with the use of his name. He dares to hope that it's only concern in Riku's voice and nothing more. His shoulders sink as he answers - honestly. ]

What do you think I did? I tried taking away the pain in a way I knew Sora couldn't - using the Darkness.

[ His own voice is equally genuine. He was trying to help Riku. ]

[ There it is. What Riku had more or less assumed had happened and he stares to Arden behind that blindfold with eyes of disbelief and perhaps even a touch of annoyance. ]

I didn't mean for you to take some of it for yourself.

[ Because his darkness is his own to deal with, something that he continuously needs to try and "get along with", in a manner of speaking, so for Arden to take some of that on for himself, something so personal and so unpredictable as of late... it's something that he doesn't want anyone to have to deal with.

Riku sighs and lets his fingers slip away from the other's wrist, fingers combing through his strands of silver before it drops down to his lap and he stares to the lightened marks on his arm. ]

This is my problem. My fault. Not yours.

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