boundbynaught | IC Inbox for empatheias

[ Try as he might, Riku can't seem to contain his frustration and it's with teeth clenching tightly, that he finally feels it pour out of him, much as his darkness does whenever he loses control. ]

I don't want anything to happen to you where it might involve disappearing or losing part of yourself! You have people who care about you, who would miss you if something were to ever happen! It has nothing to do with not believing you!

[ And then- ]

I thought you could understand me! That's why I'm here!

Then tell me! What am I supposed to understand?

[ He balls a fist and hits his chest, voice rising at Riku's own reactions. ]

You haven't mentioned once how this happened to you! Just that it did and you want it gone, so I've done the best I can to understand with no idea what's going on! You always do this when I'm around--

[ But Riku's darkness starts spreading up his own arm and across to his shoulder, making him hiss at the intensity of it flaring. ]

... Look, Riku. I'm trying to understand. I wouldn't have... done this already if I wasn't trying - and trying because I wanted to.

[ For his own reasons, varied as they are, but he did want to. And now he wants to if only for the very selfish desire to stop this pain he's got in a mirror of Riku's. ]

I told you it happened when I fought Vanitas.

[ He says that while gritting his teeth. ]

That I needed to power up Soul Eater and started ripping the darkness out of me. That it felt like my darkness was trying to burn through my body in order to get out.

[ Frustrated, Riku pulls back and looks away, allowing teeth to sink into his lower lip. ]

I didn't just mean understand me and what's going on.

[ And after a quick beat. ]

I meant understand me in general.

[ He still thinks that's more information than he got before. He sighs harshly, loudly, through his nose and in an attempt to calm himself down. No meditation on short notice like this, but he needed to get halfway to that place in his mind.

So he gets up from his kneeling position and sits on the bed, leaning back to back against Riku the way they'd been a few weeks ago out in the street. ]

If it's really on your skin now, that would make sense why it jumped over to me too, looking for any outlet. So you just have to coax it back in, it sounds like. Talk about wanting... maybe you have to not want that extra power anymore.

[ He lowers his head again, turning it just slightly, but still not looking anywhere beyond his own arm. ]

As for someone who understands you in general... I don't know what to call that if not your replica.

[ He doesn't turn to face Riku before continuing. ]

I'm not a friend... I'm like some weird distant cousin you can't get rid of, if anything.

[ With Arden's back pressed against his own like that one time a few weeks ago, Riku comes to allow his gaze to drop, simply feeling the other's presence and noting how different it is from Sora or even Ventus. But different isn't bad, not always and not in this moment. Arden is not bad, regardless of how their first meeting went prior to either of them arriving here within this world. Being here... things are different... Arden is different... even he himself is different.

But when Arden leaves him with that sort of comparison, claiming how he isn't a friend, Riku comes to stare across the room before eyes slowly fall shut. ]

The same could be said for me with you, you know.

[ It works both ways, regardless of who the "original" is. ]

Here you are trying to live your life you've created for yourself here and I go and infect you with the darkness. My darkness... a part of me.

[ Coming to bow his head some, Riku sighs to himself. ]

I don't want you to lose yourself, even just a little. You don't deserve that.

[ That gets a smirk out of Arden. ]

Infect me with the darkness? I don't think you can do that to me, honestly.

[ It's subtle, but the pain starts to dull the more he talks. ]

I came from the darkness... I died in the darkness... I came back out of it again here to Verens... I can walk through the Dark Corridors without a second thought...

[ He turns his head a little more, in a way that Riku could see if he tried. ]

So whatever my Darkness is like, it'll probably always be similar to yours. That's not me losing myself, Riku.

[ And with how sincere Riku sounds, he can't help but feel the 'weird cousin' analogy is apt as much for their shared Darkness as for their ability to simultaneously argue with each other while still trying to help each other. ]

You know, you don't have to take everything so literal when people talk to you about something.

[ He gives a soft sigh and a shake of his head. ]

Sometimes not saying anything can mean a lot when someone's trying to explain how they feel.

[ Riku and feelings are just... not things that typically go hand-in-hand when it comes to expressing them. Of course, when he's upset or angry, well, that's a whole other story.

Gently, he nudges some of his shirt back with the tips of his fingers, looking to the marks on his arm that have more or less faded a little thanks to Arden's ~~meddling~~ sneakiness. ]

At least it doesn't seem to be spreading.

[ Arden is quiet for a second before he looks back in front of him. ]

At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I talk a lot now because of all the misunderstandings I've had in the past. How was I supposed to know not to take you literally, with the way you arm and chest are right now?

[ He doesn't get it. Normally people give him a stronger clue in tone or words that they're being metaphorical or using a comparison or something like that. He really did think that Riku was referring to an infection since it was like something he 'caught' by touching Riku and all. ]

[ Riku's silent for a long moment and not because of trying to show Arden how silence can sometimes help a situation, but because he seems to be lost in his thoughts for a moment... thinking, wondering. ]

What if this doesn't work?

[ A pause. ]

What if it only makes it worse for either of us?

[ He's quiet too in his response, if only to convey that he's really genuinely thinking about it. ]

Try something else.

[ He speaks over his shoulder a little. ]

I've been told my imagination isn't great, but I can't guess anything worse than what I've already been through, so maybe that's why I'm not as...

[ Scared. ]

Concerned about doing nothing and that ending up being the worst thing, I guess?

Just to be crystal clear here.

[ Riku speaks up then, tilting his head back just a little over his shoulder so that Arden can fully hear what he's saying. ]

This is a connecting of hearts that you're pretty sure won't become permanent for either of us. Right?

[ Arden nods. ]

Because if it was permanent, I'd have known Sora fell asleep as a crystal before you did, right? Might have even fallen asleep myself. That was after doing it to him twice, too.

[ He turns his own head as well, seeing Riku's profile. ]

This situation with you has way more in common with the first time it happened to Sora. He'd gone into Anti-Form, but by the time I arrived, he was out of it again., just still tied to the Darkness more strongly than he's used to. The second time was when we couldn't get him out of Anti-Form at all and I had to force it on him a lot more. And I still don't have anything permanent with him.

[ Boy he hopes that actually sounds as logical to Riku as it feels to Arden, without getting into a lot more of the emotional side of Riku's strained friendship with Sora that he'd told Arden about recently, or a competition between them for who's a better friend, or anything like that. To him it just makes sense - surely all of that would have been enough to make a permanent bond if one was going to form. ]

[ Riku's... not about to go into detail concerning the two times Arden has done something similar with Sora before that involved being stuck in Anti-Form and whatever else. It's not that he doesn't care... in all honesty? He's not even surprised. It's just... he needs to focus on one thing at a time here lest he allow his emotions to get the better of him and derail them entirely from the entire purpose of his wanting to talk to Arden: finding a solution or some sort of insight for his marks.

After what must feel like forever, he sighs then, bowing his head as eyes covered with his blindfold look back to the faded marks on his arm. ]

Fine.

... Just to be crystal clear here.

[He echoes on purpose.]

Does 'Fine' mean 'now' or 'we'll go with that plan, but I'll find you when I'm ready'?

Thought you said you could handle it.

[ That... is maybe... MAYBE an attempt and gentle teasing with what Arden claimed earlier before he comes to sigh and lifts his head up. ]

It hurts, doesn't it? On your arm?

[ Okay that was kind of funny. Arden tilts his head up with pride. ]

I can handle it - and I've gotten used to my arm or something because it's starting to hurt less. Anyway, I know you don't do meditation, but try to close your eyes and stay calm.

[ Arden meanwhile turns back away so that their shoulders are against each other again - this seems like the most comfortable position for the two of them, so why not take advantage of it? He closes his eyes and starts trying to actively use his Scent to locate Riku. That's the easy part, of course, since he's right there at Arden's back, but really locking it down helps bridge the dunamis connection he's trying to make.

In their minds' eye, it looks similar to Betwixt and Between, and Arden's own Dark Corridors due to his lack of fear around the Darkness. Arden walks forward until he eventually finds a colored glass wall that he can't get around - it's as wide as the corridor that he's in.

Across the way, at a distance, he can also see someone else - he can only hope that's Riku. This is much different with Riku conscious. There was no wall preventing him from getting across before. ]

[ When Arden asks him to close his eyes and stay calm, Riku does just that and the results that come after a few moments like that... are interesting, to say the least.

Riku finds himself staring at that very same glass wall and wonders, for a moment, if he's somehow trapped somewhere. But then he comes to spot Arden on the other side of this coloured glass and he approaches it cautiously before he comes to stands right before it and gives it a look over. ]

What is this?

[ From Riku's side, Arden's form starts to flicker a bit. ]

It's one of my Dark Corridors - it's the channel I used to get to Sora's heart before, but...

[ He smirks a little and gestures at the glass. ]

This is new.

[ Arden's form in the glass changes from his everyday-wear outfit and long-ish hair to the form that Riku last saw him as in Castle Oblivion, Dark Mode outfit and short hair and hand raised to clutch at air. In his clutched hand appears Zexion, gasping for breath. At first, there's no sound while the images aren't moving.

There is a shocked sound from Arden himself, though, as he backs up a little from the glass. Then the images start moving and Zexion's desperate gasps echo around them as the purple energy starts to leave the Organization member. ]

[ As images begin to flicker and appear on the coloured glass, Riku stares in confusion because... he doesn't... that's not him? No, it's... it's Arden. What unfolds before them has Riku staring still in confusion, the lack of sound, let alone movement, only adding to that until it finally seems to catch up and Riku blinks in surprise.

Why is he... seeing this? Is Arden showing him this? But why? What purpose does this serve and what does this have to do with trying to push back the Darkness from within himself? ]

What is this? What am I seeing? Arden?

[ Arden gulps hard. ]

It's... me... killing Zexion...

[ He lowers his head, ashamed. ]

Right before I fought you - that's... how I got my 'newfound power'.

[ He closes his eyes and scrunches his eyebrows, knowing what comes next. Zexion's form starts to fade out of existence. It's not completely gone yet, but the purple swirls are getting more prominent, even in the glass wall. ]

But why am I seeing--

[ Riku's words come to trail off as he spots a familiar head of blond hair... but it's not Ventus.

It's Roxas.

Dressed in his Organization XIII cloak facing off against him with his own Keyblade in hand, Riku stares in confusion as he watches the fight unfold, as he watches himself lose to Roxas and demand to know why he has a Keyblade. But overlapping that confrontation is Mickey's voice, as well as his own, explaining that Mickey needs to take care of Sora in case he doesn't come back, that he's not so sure if he will come back and Riku comes to step back as he sees himself remove his blindfold and unleash the Darkness from within his heart. ]

What is... why are these things being shown?

[ Arden's head snaps up. ]

Hey, what you just said- Didn't you say that to me too?

[ Now he's confused too, but he's watching the fight with Roxas closely. ]

... You were seriously trying to get him.

[ And then the blindfold gets removed, but when the Darkness washes over the glass 'screen' of memories, it sucks everything up and replaces it in a tiny little spot. Sora's voice echoes around them. ]

'You already know how to use your crystal, but make sure you don't lose it okay? It collects emotions here, and if you lose it or break it you could get really sick.'

[ Out of that little spot, Arden's amulet appears, then Arden himself - fresh from Castle Oblivion and raising his amulet high. ]

Collects emotions?

[ Then Sora stops him from trying to smash his amulet.

Arden, the real one, balls his fists. He's really getting shaken up after everything that's happened to him. ]

... I don't like this. Any of it. This is the stuff I keep going over in my own dreams and meditations, I'm trying okay? Stop showing him too!

[ As if maybe he can control what's going on, but the darkness on his arm flares up and he grabs that arm with a hiss. ]

[ To see the images switch in and out of each other, as if exposing such personal thoughts- memories to the other that would rather be kept to themselves... Riku doesn't know what to think, not even after Arden demands the images stop being shown to him.

But Roxas disappears and Vanitas appears instead to which Riku grits his teeth as the image plays across the coloured glass.

Vanitas. Riku. The silver-haired teen being held by the throat here in Verens in a park somewhere, Soul Eater held tightly within his palm while Vanitas holds Void Gear with a grin.

I can feel so much power in you, it's a shame that's all you can do. Do your friends even count on you?

Vanitas says that, practically dripping with his own darkness to which Riku digs deeper and deeper and deeper inside himself, ripping out his Darkness from deep within... even as it hurts... even as it burns him from the inside, all so he can have that power to stop this, to stop Vanitas. Because he needs this power, his Darkness, to make amends, to make things right, even if it kills him. ]

Why is this being shown? Why?! How is any of this helping?

Arden?!

[ He grits his teeth and runs up to the glass wall, then punches it with a force that rattles it, but doesn't shatter it. ]

I was able to get through here before! This barrier must be stopping us from--

[ He punches it again, to no avail, so he stands back. ]

Really connecting.

[ He grimaces again before looking over at Riku. ]

Those memories of yours I'm seeing - there's got to be something about them that would form a barrier to me. And something about my memories that would stop me from getting to you too. Something they have in common.

[ Arden's first memories switches out for Riku's, seeming to be in a rotation, where Zexion's black coat appears in place of Vanitas. ]

I didn't even fight Vanitas that much, for example - I just took Naminé and we went home, leaving him behind, otherwise maybe that memory would be here too.

[ Although he turns away from the memory again as he sees Zexion's form evaporating. ]

... I hate that so much. Axel should be there too - it's his fault for tricking me.

[ Something they have in common... Riku comes to stare at the moving images across the coloured glass, searching for anything, anything at all that might indicate what they have in common for separating them like this...

...and then a thought strikes him. To see how Arden is reacting to his own memories while knowing how he himself feels with seeing his moving across the coloured glass for Arden to see... it's guilt, it's shame, it's a regret buried deep within the skin where it hasn't even been touched for forgiveness. That's what it is... isn't it? ]

It's the Darkness...

[ He says the words softly, staring still to the memories that continue to move in front of them. ]

It's that shame... being so unwilling to forgive yourself for something... I know because that's how I feel seeing this.

IC Inbox for empatheias

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