boundbynaught | IC Inbox for empatheias

[ Riku's silent for a long moment and not because of trying to show Arden how silence can sometimes help a situation, but because he seems to be lost in his thoughts for a moment... thinking, wondering. ]

What if this doesn't work?

[ A pause. ]

What if it only makes it worse for either of us?

[ He's quiet too in his response, if only to convey that he's really genuinely thinking about it. ]

Try something else.

[ He speaks over his shoulder a little. ]

I've been told my imagination isn't great, but I can't guess anything worse than what I've already been through, so maybe that's why I'm not as...

[ Scared. ]

Concerned about doing nothing and that ending up being the worst thing, I guess?

Just to be crystal clear here.

[ Riku speaks up then, tilting his head back just a little over his shoulder so that Arden can fully hear what he's saying. ]

This is a connecting of hearts that you're pretty sure won't become permanent for either of us. Right?

[ Arden nods. ]

Because if it was permanent, I'd have known Sora fell asleep as a crystal before you did, right? Might have even fallen asleep myself. That was after doing it to him twice, too.

[ He turns his own head as well, seeing Riku's profile. ]

This situation with you has way more in common with the first time it happened to Sora. He'd gone into Anti-Form, but by the time I arrived, he was out of it again., just still tied to the Darkness more strongly than he's used to. The second time was when we couldn't get him out of Anti-Form at all and I had to force it on him a lot more. And I still don't have anything permanent with him.

[ Boy he hopes that actually sounds as logical to Riku as it feels to Arden, without getting into a lot more of the emotional side of Riku's strained friendship with Sora that he'd told Arden about recently, or a competition between them for who's a better friend, or anything like that. To him it just makes sense - surely all of that would have been enough to make a permanent bond if one was going to form. ]

[ Riku's... not about to go into detail concerning the two times Arden has done something similar with Sora before that involved being stuck in Anti-Form and whatever else. It's not that he doesn't care... in all honesty? He's not even surprised. It's just... he needs to focus on one thing at a time here lest he allow his emotions to get the better of him and derail them entirely from the entire purpose of his wanting to talk to Arden: finding a solution or some sort of insight for his marks.

After what must feel like forever, he sighs then, bowing his head as eyes covered with his blindfold look back to the faded marks on his arm. ]

Fine.

... Just to be crystal clear here.

[He echoes on purpose.]

Does 'Fine' mean 'now' or 'we'll go with that plan, but I'll find you when I'm ready'?

Thought you said you could handle it.

[ That... is maybe... MAYBE an attempt and gentle teasing with what Arden claimed earlier before he comes to sigh and lifts his head up. ]

It hurts, doesn't it? On your arm?

[ Okay that was kind of funny. Arden tilts his head up with pride. ]

I can handle it - and I've gotten used to my arm or something because it's starting to hurt less. Anyway, I know you don't do meditation, but try to close your eyes and stay calm.

[ Arden meanwhile turns back away so that their shoulders are against each other again - this seems like the most comfortable position for the two of them, so why not take advantage of it? He closes his eyes and starts trying to actively use his Scent to locate Riku. That's the easy part, of course, since he's right there at Arden's back, but really locking it down helps bridge the dunamis connection he's trying to make.

In their minds' eye, it looks similar to Betwixt and Between, and Arden's own Dark Corridors due to his lack of fear around the Darkness. Arden walks forward until he eventually finds a colored glass wall that he can't get around - it's as wide as the corridor that he's in.

Across the way, at a distance, he can also see someone else - he can only hope that's Riku. This is much different with Riku conscious. There was no wall preventing him from getting across before. ]

[ When Arden asks him to close his eyes and stay calm, Riku does just that and the results that come after a few moments like that... are interesting, to say the least.

Riku finds himself staring at that very same glass wall and wonders, for a moment, if he's somehow trapped somewhere. But then he comes to spot Arden on the other side of this coloured glass and he approaches it cautiously before he comes to stands right before it and gives it a look over. ]

What is this?

[ From Riku's side, Arden's form starts to flicker a bit. ]

It's one of my Dark Corridors - it's the channel I used to get to Sora's heart before, but...

[ He smirks a little and gestures at the glass. ]

This is new.

[ Arden's form in the glass changes from his everyday-wear outfit and long-ish hair to the form that Riku last saw him as in Castle Oblivion, Dark Mode outfit and short hair and hand raised to clutch at air. In his clutched hand appears Zexion, gasping for breath. At first, there's no sound while the images aren't moving.

There is a shocked sound from Arden himself, though, as he backs up a little from the glass. Then the images start moving and Zexion's desperate gasps echo around them as the purple energy starts to leave the Organization member. ]

[ As images begin to flicker and appear on the coloured glass, Riku stares in confusion because... he doesn't... that's not him? No, it's... it's Arden. What unfolds before them has Riku staring still in confusion, the lack of sound, let alone movement, only adding to that until it finally seems to catch up and Riku blinks in surprise.

Why is he... seeing this? Is Arden showing him this? But why? What purpose does this serve and what does this have to do with trying to push back the Darkness from within himself? ]

What is this? What am I seeing? Arden?

[ Arden gulps hard. ]

It's... me... killing Zexion...

[ He lowers his head, ashamed. ]

Right before I fought you - that's... how I got my 'newfound power'.

[ He closes his eyes and scrunches his eyebrows, knowing what comes next. Zexion's form starts to fade out of existence. It's not completely gone yet, but the purple swirls are getting more prominent, even in the glass wall. ]

But why am I seeing--

[ Riku's words come to trail off as he spots a familiar head of blond hair... but it's not Ventus.

It's Roxas.

Dressed in his Organization XIII cloak facing off against him with his own Keyblade in hand, Riku stares in confusion as he watches the fight unfold, as he watches himself lose to Roxas and demand to know why he has a Keyblade. But overlapping that confrontation is Mickey's voice, as well as his own, explaining that Mickey needs to take care of Sora in case he doesn't come back, that he's not so sure if he will come back and Riku comes to step back as he sees himself remove his blindfold and unleash the Darkness from within his heart. ]

What is... why are these things being shown?

[ Arden's head snaps up. ]

Hey, what you just said- Didn't you say that to me too?

[ Now he's confused too, but he's watching the fight with Roxas closely. ]

... You were seriously trying to get him.

[ And then the blindfold gets removed, but when the Darkness washes over the glass 'screen' of memories, it sucks everything up and replaces it in a tiny little spot. Sora's voice echoes around them. ]

'You already know how to use your crystal, but make sure you don't lose it okay? It collects emotions here, and if you lose it or break it you could get really sick.'

[ Out of that little spot, Arden's amulet appears, then Arden himself - fresh from Castle Oblivion and raising his amulet high. ]

Collects emotions?

[ Then Sora stops him from trying to smash his amulet.

Arden, the real one, balls his fists. He's really getting shaken up after everything that's happened to him. ]

... I don't like this. Any of it. This is the stuff I keep going over in my own dreams and meditations, I'm trying okay? Stop showing him too!

[ As if maybe he can control what's going on, but the darkness on his arm flares up and he grabs that arm with a hiss. ]

[ To see the images switch in and out of each other, as if exposing such personal thoughts- memories to the other that would rather be kept to themselves... Riku doesn't know what to think, not even after Arden demands the images stop being shown to him.

But Roxas disappears and Vanitas appears instead to which Riku grits his teeth as the image plays across the coloured glass.

Vanitas. Riku. The silver-haired teen being held by the throat here in Verens in a park somewhere, Soul Eater held tightly within his palm while Vanitas holds Void Gear with a grin.

I can feel so much power in you, it's a shame that's all you can do. Do your friends even count on you?

Vanitas says that, practically dripping with his own darkness to which Riku digs deeper and deeper and deeper inside himself, ripping out his Darkness from deep within... even as it hurts... even as it burns him from the inside, all so he can have that power to stop this, to stop Vanitas. Because he needs this power, his Darkness, to make amends, to make things right, even if it kills him. ]

Why is this being shown? Why?! How is any of this helping?

Arden?!

[ He grits his teeth and runs up to the glass wall, then punches it with a force that rattles it, but doesn't shatter it. ]

I was able to get through here before! This barrier must be stopping us from--

[ He punches it again, to no avail, so he stands back. ]

Really connecting.

[ He grimaces again before looking over at Riku. ]

Those memories of yours I'm seeing - there's got to be something about them that would form a barrier to me. And something about my memories that would stop me from getting to you too. Something they have in common.

[ Arden's first memories switches out for Riku's, seeming to be in a rotation, where Zexion's black coat appears in place of Vanitas. ]

I didn't even fight Vanitas that much, for example - I just took Naminé and we went home, leaving him behind, otherwise maybe that memory would be here too.

[ Although he turns away from the memory again as he sees Zexion's form evaporating. ]

... I hate that so much. Axel should be there too - it's his fault for tricking me.

[ Something they have in common... Riku comes to stare at the moving images across the coloured glass, searching for anything, anything at all that might indicate what they have in common for separating them like this...

...and then a thought strikes him. To see how Arden is reacting to his own memories while knowing how he himself feels with seeing his moving across the coloured glass for Arden to see... it's guilt, it's shame, it's a regret buried deep within the skin where it hasn't even been touched for forgiveness. That's what it is... isn't it? ]

It's the Darkness...

[ He says the words softly, staring still to the memories that continue to move in front of them. ]

It's that shame... being so unwilling to forgive yourself for something... I know because that's how I feel seeing this.

[ By the time Arden looks up again, it's back to him trying to smash his amulet while Sora stops him. Can he even explain how deeply that gesture affected him? To Riku of all people? Does he have to? It twisted up so many complicated feelings for Sora after that.

... But the shame of feeling all of that. Yeah, he can nod to Riku, then lowers his head. ]

You're probably on to something.

[ He walks up to the wall then, just pressing his hand there. ]

I caused so much trouble for everyone when I showed up, but that was probably the worst. I'll never forget the look on Sora's face when he stopped me.

[ That much was true. ]

... And Zexion... He may have been part of the Organization, but what I did to him...

[ To see Arden wanting to smash his amulet... it has Riku's gaze lower when Sora appears and he finds himself frowning at the pain that Arden must have been feeling to come to such a decision. Pain that... must have been buried so deep, cut so deep that to smash his amulet within this world while more than likely knowing it could very well end him... he's been there himself, in that much pain and sorrow and just... defeat.

Swallowing, Riku comes to place his own hand on the coloured glass right over where Arden's is, lining up each finger carefully until it seems as though their hands have become one against the glass and he stares to the other silver-haired boy from the other side. ]

It hurts. I know it does because I feel it, too. Even here... I still feel it with everything that I've done.

[ Bowing his head some, he looks to the faded marks on his arm. ]

I feel like I deserve it though... why wouldn't I for everything I've done? For not being some hero like Sora.

[ That's when he comes to look up again and looks to Arden. ]

But you feel it, too, don't you? You still do for things you keep to yourself... just like me.

[ He snorts softly, derisively but not angrily. He clenches his fingers a little against the glass. ]

Just like you. How those words haunt me.

[ The image on the glass shifts back to Sora stopping him from shattering his amulet, making Arden look up at the image before slowly lowering back to Riku. ]

I kept thinking that I'd have to make memories unique from yours, even warped as they were, just to know what parts were really me. With you back here, I thought it was the only way to get you to stop hating me too. Yet... here we are again.

[ His hand flattens back out. ]

You wanted to see me today because you thought I'd understand, right? Well... I guess you were right. I guess I do understand. I just never thought you'd want that from me.

[ And from where their hands are placed, on both sides of the glass, some visible cracks start to appear and there's an audible noise accompanying that. ]

[ Riku remains silent for a long moment as Arden speaks, absorbing his words and, perhaps, trying to even absorb those emotions from feeling such a way. ]

I know it might not compare to what you feel with me being here. But I understand something close to what you're feeling. With feeling like you don't measure up, that you can't even compare to whatever version people have heard more about and whatever expectations they might have of you.

[ That's when voices can suddenly be heard rippling along the coloured glass between them. Words of how you're not anything like what Sora said echo in various voices and Riku stares to those ripples, a gentle touch of sadness- of shame coming through this connection between them. Because Sora, while he's meant so well, has painted him in a light that he can't live up to right now. That's not to say that he never will. But for the moment? With the point in time that he's been pulled from? The light is so far from him and to have this so-called burden of expectations from others and how he supposedly should be when he can't even imagine himself being that way... it hurts, despite the many times he allows it to roll off his back. It hurts. ]

It's not exactly the same... but it still hurts. It still stays with you.

Yeah... it does.

[ For Arden, it's when Minnie knighted him. Those words echo around them too. ]

"The paths of light and darkness aren't always crystal clear. In trying to do something right, you can do wrong. But this has never given you reason to stop walking forward. You have learned from your mistakes, and become a better, whole person for it. You have come from the most unique situation from us all, questioning so many things... Yet you were able to discover the answers that suited you best, and shouldered the pain others left behind. In watching you, we know that anyone is capable of redemption and hope."

[ Together, with Riku starting to admit some of these feelings and empathizing with Arden, while Arden likewise is open to communicating with Riku over how it feels... the wall starts to crack some more. They don't have answers, but they have the same questions, and that's a starting point.

The wall breaks apart, but remains in pieces still separating the two of them, like a stained glass design with all of the soldered joints gaping as air.

Arden jumps back when all of that happens, prepared to defend himself again, but... nothing attacks them. ]

Whoa...

[ Riku comes to step back when the glass shatters as well and stands there... staring... waiting to see what this could mean.

But... nothing happens. Nothing attacks them. Nothing swallows them up into darkness. It's just... them.

Riku turns his hand to look down to his palm then and notices there's no glass, no blood, not even a drop of pain that he feels from the shattering glass and he comes to stare to Arden then, allowing his hand to drop beside him. ]

You're not me. [ He says then, so sure of those words. ] Just like I'm not whatever version Sora has painted me to be to others.

[ Coming to glance down, Riku falls silent before he gives a slow shake of his head. ]

But that's ok... for you... and for me.

[ Arden nods. ]

And it's okay to ask others for help too.

[ Arden walks forward until he's almost touching the stained glass wall... ]

Talking to each other doesn't change any of that. We're both tied to the Darkness - that's not the part we have to be ashamed of. Using that power... it's just a different way.

[ Then he reaches through an empty gap such that his elbow is where the full wall used to be. ]

We can both use it in ways that won't hurt us. I'm sure of it.

[ When Arden reaches through the shards of glass with a hand, Riku stares. Silent. Listening to the other's words that somehow seem so soft and gentle amidst the shattered chaos before them.

He's not afraid of the Darkness... not anymore, it's simply a part of him. A part of them both and while he's done things in the name of darkness that may warrant shame, it doesn't mean he has to continue to feel shame for what he is... for what's inside him... deep within his heart. It doesn't... it doesn't have to be that way. Right?

Glancing up, Riku hesitates for a moment before he reaches out before him and touches Arden's hand with the tips of his fingers. Pausing. Wondering. Finally, taking hold of the other's hand, fingers slipping between his. ]

Then... let's help each other. Even if we're not the light... let's be the moonlight instead.

IC Inbox for empatheias

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Closest icon match I have lol

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I meant to tag this back anyway