boundbynaught | IC Inbox for empatheias

[ He grits his teeth and runs up to the glass wall, then punches it with a force that rattles it, but doesn't shatter it. ]

I was able to get through here before! This barrier must be stopping us from--

[ He punches it again, to no avail, so he stands back. ]

Really connecting.

[ He grimaces again before looking over at Riku. ]

Those memories of yours I'm seeing - there's got to be something about them that would form a barrier to me. And something about my memories that would stop me from getting to you too. Something they have in common.

[ Arden's first memories switches out for Riku's, seeming to be in a rotation, where Zexion's black coat appears in place of Vanitas. ]

I didn't even fight Vanitas that much, for example - I just took Naminé and we went home, leaving him behind, otherwise maybe that memory would be here too.

[ Although he turns away from the memory again as he sees Zexion's form evaporating. ]

... I hate that so much. Axel should be there too - it's his fault for tricking me.

[ Something they have in common... Riku comes to stare at the moving images across the coloured glass, searching for anything, anything at all that might indicate what they have in common for separating them like this...

...and then a thought strikes him. To see how Arden is reacting to his own memories while knowing how he himself feels with seeing his moving across the coloured glass for Arden to see... it's guilt, it's shame, it's a regret buried deep within the skin where it hasn't even been touched for forgiveness. That's what it is... isn't it? ]

It's the Darkness...

[ He says the words softly, staring still to the memories that continue to move in front of them. ]

It's that shame... being so unwilling to forgive yourself for something... I know because that's how I feel seeing this.

[ By the time Arden looks up again, it's back to him trying to smash his amulet while Sora stops him. Can he even explain how deeply that gesture affected him? To Riku of all people? Does he have to? It twisted up so many complicated feelings for Sora after that.

... But the shame of feeling all of that. Yeah, he can nod to Riku, then lowers his head. ]

You're probably on to something.

[ He walks up to the wall then, just pressing his hand there. ]

I caused so much trouble for everyone when I showed up, but that was probably the worst. I'll never forget the look on Sora's face when he stopped me.

[ That much was true. ]

... And Zexion... He may have been part of the Organization, but what I did to him...

[ To see Arden wanting to smash his amulet... it has Riku's gaze lower when Sora appears and he finds himself frowning at the pain that Arden must have been feeling to come to such a decision. Pain that... must have been buried so deep, cut so deep that to smash his amulet within this world while more than likely knowing it could very well end him... he's been there himself, in that much pain and sorrow and just... defeat.

Swallowing, Riku comes to place his own hand on the coloured glass right over where Arden's is, lining up each finger carefully until it seems as though their hands have become one against the glass and he stares to the other silver-haired boy from the other side. ]

It hurts. I know it does because I feel it, too. Even here... I still feel it with everything that I've done.

[ Bowing his head some, he looks to the faded marks on his arm. ]

I feel like I deserve it though... why wouldn't I for everything I've done? For not being some hero like Sora.

[ That's when he comes to look up again and looks to Arden. ]

But you feel it, too, don't you? You still do for things you keep to yourself... just like me.

[ He snorts softly, derisively but not angrily. He clenches his fingers a little against the glass. ]

Just like you. How those words haunt me.

[ The image on the glass shifts back to Sora stopping him from shattering his amulet, making Arden look up at the image before slowly lowering back to Riku. ]

I kept thinking that I'd have to make memories unique from yours, even warped as they were, just to know what parts were really me. With you back here, I thought it was the only way to get you to stop hating me too. Yet... here we are again.

[ His hand flattens back out. ]

You wanted to see me today because you thought I'd understand, right? Well... I guess you were right. I guess I do understand. I just never thought you'd want that from me.

[ And from where their hands are placed, on both sides of the glass, some visible cracks start to appear and there's an audible noise accompanying that. ]

[ Riku remains silent for a long moment as Arden speaks, absorbing his words and, perhaps, trying to even absorb those emotions from feeling such a way. ]

I know it might not compare to what you feel with me being here. But I understand something close to what you're feeling. With feeling like you don't measure up, that you can't even compare to whatever version people have heard more about and whatever expectations they might have of you.

[ That's when voices can suddenly be heard rippling along the coloured glass between them. Words of how you're not anything like what Sora said echo in various voices and Riku stares to those ripples, a gentle touch of sadness- of shame coming through this connection between them. Because Sora, while he's meant so well, has painted him in a light that he can't live up to right now. That's not to say that he never will. But for the moment? With the point in time that he's been pulled from? The light is so far from him and to have this so-called burden of expectations from others and how he supposedly should be when he can't even imagine himself being that way... it hurts, despite the many times he allows it to roll off his back. It hurts. ]

It's not exactly the same... but it still hurts. It still stays with you.

Yeah... it does.

[ For Arden, it's when Minnie knighted him. Those words echo around them too. ]

"The paths of light and darkness aren't always crystal clear. In trying to do something right, you can do wrong. But this has never given you reason to stop walking forward. You have learned from your mistakes, and become a better, whole person for it. You have come from the most unique situation from us all, questioning so many things... Yet you were able to discover the answers that suited you best, and shouldered the pain others left behind. In watching you, we know that anyone is capable of redemption and hope."

[ Together, with Riku starting to admit some of these feelings and empathizing with Arden, while Arden likewise is open to communicating with Riku over how it feels... the wall starts to crack some more. They don't have answers, but they have the same questions, and that's a starting point.

The wall breaks apart, but remains in pieces still separating the two of them, like a stained glass design with all of the soldered joints gaping as air.

Arden jumps back when all of that happens, prepared to defend himself again, but... nothing attacks them. ]

Whoa...

[ Riku comes to step back when the glass shatters as well and stands there... staring... waiting to see what this could mean.

But... nothing happens. Nothing attacks them. Nothing swallows them up into darkness. It's just... them.

Riku turns his hand to look down to his palm then and notices there's no glass, no blood, not even a drop of pain that he feels from the shattering glass and he comes to stare to Arden then, allowing his hand to drop beside him. ]

You're not me. [ He says then, so sure of those words. ] Just like I'm not whatever version Sora has painted me to be to others.

[ Coming to glance down, Riku falls silent before he gives a slow shake of his head. ]

But that's ok... for you... and for me.

[ Arden nods. ]

And it's okay to ask others for help too.

[ Arden walks forward until he's almost touching the stained glass wall... ]

Talking to each other doesn't change any of that. We're both tied to the Darkness - that's not the part we have to be ashamed of. Using that power... it's just a different way.

[ Then he reaches through an empty gap such that his elbow is where the full wall used to be. ]

We can both use it in ways that won't hurt us. I'm sure of it.

[ When Arden reaches through the shards of glass with a hand, Riku stares. Silent. Listening to the other's words that somehow seem so soft and gentle amidst the shattered chaos before them.

He's not afraid of the Darkness... not anymore, it's simply a part of him. A part of them both and while he's done things in the name of darkness that may warrant shame, it doesn't mean he has to continue to feel shame for what he is... for what's inside him... deep within his heart. It doesn't... it doesn't have to be that way. Right?

Glancing up, Riku hesitates for a moment before he reaches out before him and touches Arden's hand with the tips of his fingers. Pausing. Wondering. Finally, taking hold of the other's hand, fingers slipping between his. ]

Then... let's help each other. Even if we're not the light... let's be the moonlight instead.

[ Arden doesn't let go of Riku's hand, but he does smirk a fair bit. For all that Riku claims Sora is the more emotional one, he's pretty sure that 'let's be the moonlight' is at least as sentimental a way to phrase things. ]

Moonlight, huh?

[ There's a swirl of colors around them, but from where their hands are, it's all gray - there's bits of white and black, but a lot of it is shades of gray, exploding outwards until the both of them open their eyes again. They're sitting back to back in Riku's room again, and for Arden, the bits of Riku's Darkness still scarring his arm have faded into more of a patchy reaction, roughly half of what there used to be. ]

... Riku?

[ His voice is still a little quiet as he blinks and settles his mind, turning just a little over his shoulder to see how the other is doing. ]

[ It takes him a moment to really understand that Arden is speaking to him right here in this room and not in the corridor they had found themselves in when this first started. But, when he does, he lets out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and tilts his head enough to just barely look back over his shoulder. ]

I'm here.

[ The two words are said softly, sounding tired even and he can't help but lean himself back against Arden with his weight, eyes falling shut behind his blindfold again. ]

[ Arden doesn't move since he's currently Riku's prop, but he is still straining his neck. ]

You don't sound all there.

[ He narrows his eyes a little, before finally deciding he's not going to get a good angle like this, so he starts trying to smell his way around what might have changed about the physical side of Riku's Darkness, that bit clinging to his arm. ]

... Mine hurts less now, by the way.

[ Coming to give a glance down to his own arm, he notices that some of the marks have faded to the point of not even being there anymore and he finds himself... smiling, just a little. ]

Me too.

[ But... exhaustion... that's another story completely and Riku allows himself to slip away from Arden and just... fall onto his back against the mattress with a soft exhale. ]

But they're not all gone. Not yet.

[ Arden's not wholly surprised that Riku's elected to lay down on his bed. He shifts to face the opposite direction, still seated on the very edge of the bed but looking up at Riku's head on the pillow. ]

After what happened... I'd honestly be surprised if they had.

[ He sighs a little - he wants to be proud of all of that he just accomplished, technically succeeding beyond his wildest expectations when it came to Riku instead of Sora, but after all that it entailed... 'shame'... it was hard to feel proud of showing all of that to anyone, least of all Riku. ]

At least now you can rest a bit.

[ He stands. ]

Maybe we can try again another time.

[ Rest is exactly what he plans to do now that he's found himself sprawled against the bed. With eyes closed and arms stretched out, Riku allows a sigh to slip from his lips as his head lolls to the side, a few strands of hair falling in front of his face as he does so. ]

Maybe.

[ The word is said softly, tiredly, showing just how drained the silver-haired teen is. But, before Arden can slip away, let alone he doing the same but off into a dreamy state of sleep, he allows another sigh to fall from his lips and gives, softly but so sincerely- ]

Thank you, Arden.

[ A part of him wants to object that since they didn't actually succeed, 100%, at fixing the problem Riku came to him with, that he failed - because the opposite of success is failure, obviously.

But... Riku did come to him. Him. He's significant enough - as much as a confidant as an expert when it comes to Darkness things - that Riku brought a very personal issue to Arden that became even more personal. So... despite himself, he presses his lips together as he finally stops just short of the doorway and turns back to Riku while grabbing for the door. ]

You're welcome - and thank you too, Riku... for trusting me.

IC Inbox for empatheias

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Closest icon match I have lol

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I meant to tag this back anyway