boundbynaught | IC Inbox for empatheias

[ Both of his hands go up to his neck as he sighs. That used to be all he wanted, then all he hated, being compared to Riku. Now Riku's joking about it. His mouth quirks up on one side, though... because it was kind of funny. A little. That he's being so overly-cautious around Riku he'd end up literally mirroring some of Riku's own habits back at him. He's gotten so much calmer and straight-forward with most people... but then something like this happens around Riku himself. ]

Too late to take it back, I guess.

[ He lets one hand fall. ]

... So what do you want to do?

[ Even if those scars do look pretty bad to his eyes, he still thinks it would be worse to force Riku into something. ]

I could try just touching them and see if the Cure combo works again.

[ To be fair, Riku is... trying. He really is, regardless of how slow or careful he may seem with doing so. There's just... so much on his mind, so much on his plate, so much that he's still trying to come to terms with that he needs to take it all one day at a time, focus on certain things at certain times, not simply try to do it all at once, in one go.

Riku doesn't bother to move, let alone glance over to Arden and yet, he can almost see the other's reaction to his words in his mind's eye and that alone has him keep that smile on his lips for about another three seconds before he sighs to himself. ]

If you want. Don't think it will make much of a difference.

[ Although Sora had been able to ease the pain of them, he couldn't make them disappear, let alone fade and that alone had Riku come to think that they were something a simple Cure spell couldn't fix. ]

[ In Arden's mind, any version of this that doesn't require a heart connection is worth a shot. So he walks over and just focuses on Riku's arm. He can sense it now, close as he is with Riku on the bed, how much of Riku's Darkness that is normally a subtle expression is suddenly much stronger, like the difference between one drop of concentrated flavor in a cookie recipe compared with five.

He slowly lowers one hand and rests it on Riku's arm. He can't feel Riku's pain or anything special from just that gesture. However, Arden's idea goes beyond the Cure, because if that would have worked, he's sure Sora would have been better at it. So no, his idea is more that too much of Riku's Darkness is at the superficial level... so maybe he can just draw some of it out? To do that though, he had to try combining dunamis with the... 'skill' that it took to draw power from Zexion. So a nonlethal version. That's the plan, anyway.

So his Cure spell goes purple this time instead of green. His dunamis isn't the warm fuzzy feelings he can access when thinking of Sora either; he's hyper-vigilant over trying to keep Riku and himself distinct from one another, to not keep mirroring one another like when he acted in a way that Riku would joke about it. It warps the purple with teal and mint green with the two-pronged envy for Riku's lot and appreciation for being confided in like this. What Arden doesn't consider is that Aiada is who he's aligned with, so it ends up more powerful on top of staying nonlethal as he wished.

In his effort to relieve some of Riku's pain, the end result is that the purple-teal swirls wrap around Riku's arm like a sleeve and then curl up at the elbow over to Arden's elbow, completing a circuit down to where his hand is on Riku's arm. The circuit starts to sting and Arden thinks it's just a circumstance of what he's trying to do.

After a few seconds though, it really starts to sting, and he ends up stepping back with his hand snapping away like he just touched the oven burner on accident while it was still turned on. He hisses a little and then holds his hand out to make sure he did not in fact burn his fingertips somehow.

... Well, he didn't. But. There's some of that Darkness scarring on his own arm now. It's not as bad as Riku's - which was all over his chest AND arm - and now Riku's arm scarring is lighter than his chest. Arden continues to stare at his arm, confused, as the stinging starts to dull to an annoying kind, like a lingering bruise. ]

Edited 2018-04-20 04:34 (UTC)

[ Initially, Riku doesn't give any of this much thought. Not to dismiss Arden's offer or have him feel insignificant, but if Sora wasn't able to fade these scars that have littered themselves across his arms and chest, then what chance did he have with something like a Cure spell?

So, when Arden begins this "Cure spell", as he believes it to be, Riku simply lays there on the bed and allows his eyes to fall shut. In truth, these scars have felt like an emotional drain of sorts on top of everything else that has been plaguing his mind as of late and it's left the silver-haired teen feeling tired and wanting to sleep a lot more than he typically does. Meaning? He's seconds away from falling asleep right there on the bed.

But it's when he feels... something between then, a sort of tingling sensation that eyes open behind that blindfold and he slowly blinks a few times as it suddenly dawns on him that this is NOT a Cure spell and this is something else entirely.

It's too late, however, Riku hearing Arden hiss as he snaps back which causes him to quickly sit up and reach out to grab at the other's wrist. ]

What did you do?

[ At first the words are firm, as if chiding him and fingers come to wrap tightly around that wrist before his voice becomes more soft. ]

What did you do, Arden?

[ He thinks Riku is mad at him at first, but the repeated tone alleviates some of the tension, along with the use of his name. He dares to hope that it's only concern in Riku's voice and nothing more. His shoulders sink as he answers - honestly. ]

What do you think I did? I tried taking away the pain in a way I knew Sora couldn't - using the Darkness.

[ His own voice is equally genuine. He was trying to help Riku. ]

[ There it is. What Riku had more or less assumed had happened and he stares to Arden behind that blindfold with eyes of disbelief and perhaps even a touch of annoyance. ]

I didn't mean for you to take some of it for yourself.

[ Because his darkness is his own to deal with, something that he continuously needs to try and "get along with", in a manner of speaking, so for Arden to take some of that on for himself, something so personal and so unpredictable as of late... it's something that he doesn't want anyone to have to deal with.

Riku sighs and lets his fingers slip away from the other's wrist, fingers combing through his strands of silver before it drops down to his lap and he stares to the lightened marks on his arm. ]

This is my problem. My fault. Not yours.

I didn't mean to either!

[ He knows it doesn't help now, but he wants to make that clear. ]

That made me more powerful, before, I thought it would work again.

[ Granted... that kind of had its own sort of backfired effect last time too, so maybe he shouldn't be too surprised. ]

Besides if it's "your problem" why even come to me in the first place?

[ He crosses his arms again. ]

You wanted my help and I tried something. It didn't work. Oh well. Now I have to go with the option I know works.

[ One other thing Arden's grown in tremendously is his ability to react to failure. He's burned too many muffins to get as upset as he used to over trying something and it not going the way he wanted. ]

Edited 2018-04-20 05:07 (UTC)

Just because it's my problem doesn't mean I want you to suffer for it. Tch.

[ Honestly, how can Arden not see that? He came to him for advice, for any sort of insight the other might have to these marks and what they could mean because they both share a similar darkness, something that no one else here can understand in the way that he can.

Riku comes to shake his head, frustrated, fingers of his other hand twisting in the bed sheets he sits upon. ]

I did this to myself. I don't want you to suffer like I am.

[ He doesn't want anyone to... not anymore. ]

I’m not suffering. I’m tougher than that.

[ Sure it aches, but right now - still fresh - it mostly feels like he slept on his side wrong. ]

If there’s one thing I learned while trying to comfort Sora...

[ And he had no memories of Riku doing so, although now he knows their true nature as best friends. Arden drops into a meditative cross-legged position next to Riku’s bed. ]

It’s that the Darkness prefers having only one target at a time. And even if I didn’t plan it, there’s a connection now, so just give me your hand again and let me try this.

[ He raises the scarred hand up by Riku’s bed while his eyes are closed and he tries to initiate meditating, for his own benefit or both of theirs, it’s Riku’s call, but now he’s mentally preparing to be a more active participant than he had been with Sora. ]

[ Riku comes to glance up at Arden and stares. He almost can't say he's surprised by this... that Arden would want to keep pushing forward despite his having inadvertently taking on some of this darkness for himself. But even if such a thing had been an accident, even if he truly feels the need to continue on with this... is it to please Sora? To pat himself on the back for a job well done with not ditching the one he shares a face with here? Or is there something more to it? Something like... actually caring? ]

Try what? Taking more of it for yourself?

No!

[ He has to snap because he's equally frustrated at his own failure to fix things previously and also frustration at the pain starting to increase. ]

What I told you about before.

[ His hand lowers a little, his elbow resting on the bed now. ]

... I told you I have to start it off, so I'm offering.

[ He's still scared of letting Riku see inside his heart, but right now he's not sure he has another choice. ]

[ Riku is silent as Arden snaps and then as he explains. Part of him wants to lash out that if he had never tried to pull a fast one like he did with pretending to do one thing, only to do something entirely different, maybe they wouldn't be in this predicament.

But... he doesn't. Instead, he stares to Arden through his blindfold and almost seems to grind his teeth before he finally shakes his head with a sigh falling from his lips. ]

You said you don't know if it's a permanent thing though... you're willing to risk that? [ A beat. ] For me?

[ Dejected at continuing this conversation before he can gain some sense back, his hand drops to the bed. His own voice is equally quiet, timid at admitting these things to Riku of all people. ]

My fate's already bound to yours. I can't escape it. So really... the worst possible situation will only confirm that. And you said Sora can't help you, so...

[ He lightly shrugs his shoulders. ]

If not me, then who? I have to live up to the person Minnie and Sora and Naminé see in me, or it feels like I won't be 'Arden' anymore. Just a replica... no better than Vanitas either.

[ Silent, it's only after a few short moments when Arden is done speaking that Riku reaches out and firmly grasps at a wrist, as if forcing Arden to look to him. ]

Don't do this because you feel like you have to for someone else. Don't do this because you feel like it's the right thing to do. Don't do this because you don't want to let anyone down and don't do this because you feel like there's no other option. Forget about Sora. Forget about Minnie. Forget about what even Naminé might see or think with you doing this.

[ Riku's voice is firm, steady, yet not intending to chide or put down. ]

Do this because you want to. That's what sets you apart from being a replica. Because it's your choice, not your so-called fate.

[ He feels Riku grab him and he's visibly upset now because it feels like this is quickly spiraling out of a situation he can actually improve any longer. He listens to Riku, but it's not with any kind of visceral determination. He's hit a downward spiral of second-guessing himself and the only reason he can stand to look 'at' Riku is because, to him, he's looking at the blindfold and purposefully not making an effort to see eyes behind the cloth, especially not in the dim light of Riku's bedroom. ]

Even if I tell you I want to help, would you really believe me?

[ His voice quavers and he feels like the age gap is growing by the minute, reducing him back to two years old being scolded by the So Much More Mature teenager. He tries to pull his hand away then, but even he doesn't care enough to resist that much, so his wrist stays caught. ]

All you seem to want is information out of me and nothing else - all that happened when you weren't here, all the times I tried to be the best friend for Sora because you weren't there for him. I keep saying I want to make amends but it's not good enough for you and I'm not good enough to keep asking.

So just let me go and I'll let you deal with this on your own, like you wanted.

[ Try as he might, Riku can't seem to contain his frustration and it's with teeth clenching tightly, that he finally feels it pour out of him, much as his darkness does whenever he loses control. ]

I don't want anything to happen to you where it might involve disappearing or losing part of yourself! You have people who care about you, who would miss you if something were to ever happen! It has nothing to do with not believing you!

[ And then- ]

I thought you could understand me! That's why I'm here!

Then tell me! What am I supposed to understand?

[ He balls a fist and hits his chest, voice rising at Riku's own reactions. ]

You haven't mentioned once how this happened to you! Just that it did and you want it gone, so I've done the best I can to understand with no idea what's going on! You always do this when I'm around--

[ But Riku's darkness starts spreading up his own arm and across to his shoulder, making him hiss at the intensity of it flaring. ]

... Look, Riku. I'm trying to understand. I wouldn't have... done this already if I wasn't trying - and trying because I wanted to.

[ For his own reasons, varied as they are, but he did want to. And now he wants to if only for the very selfish desire to stop this pain he's got in a mirror of Riku's. ]

I told you it happened when I fought Vanitas.

[ He says that while gritting his teeth. ]

That I needed to power up Soul Eater and started ripping the darkness out of me. That it felt like my darkness was trying to burn through my body in order to get out.

[ Frustrated, Riku pulls back and looks away, allowing teeth to sink into his lower lip. ]

I didn't just mean understand me and what's going on.

[ And after a quick beat. ]

I meant understand me in general.

[ He still thinks that's more information than he got before. He sighs harshly, loudly, through his nose and in an attempt to calm himself down. No meditation on short notice like this, but he needed to get halfway to that place in his mind.

So he gets up from his kneeling position and sits on the bed, leaning back to back against Riku the way they'd been a few weeks ago out in the street. ]

If it's really on your skin now, that would make sense why it jumped over to me too, looking for any outlet. So you just have to coax it back in, it sounds like. Talk about wanting... maybe you have to not want that extra power anymore.

[ He lowers his head again, turning it just slightly, but still not looking anywhere beyond his own arm. ]

As for someone who understands you in general... I don't know what to call that if not your replica.

[ He doesn't turn to face Riku before continuing. ]

I'm not a friend... I'm like some weird distant cousin you can't get rid of, if anything.

[ With Arden's back pressed against his own like that one time a few weeks ago, Riku comes to allow his gaze to drop, simply feeling the other's presence and noting how different it is from Sora or even Ventus. But different isn't bad, not always and not in this moment. Arden is not bad, regardless of how their first meeting went prior to either of them arriving here within this world. Being here... things are different... Arden is different... even he himself is different.

But when Arden leaves him with that sort of comparison, claiming how he isn't a friend, Riku comes to stare across the room before eyes slowly fall shut. ]

The same could be said for me with you, you know.

[ It works both ways, regardless of who the "original" is. ]

Here you are trying to live your life you've created for yourself here and I go and infect you with the darkness. My darkness... a part of me.

[ Coming to bow his head some, Riku sighs to himself. ]

I don't want you to lose yourself, even just a little. You don't deserve that.

[ That gets a smirk out of Arden. ]

Infect me with the darkness? I don't think you can do that to me, honestly.

[ It's subtle, but the pain starts to dull the more he talks. ]

I came from the darkness... I died in the darkness... I came back out of it again here to Verens... I can walk through the Dark Corridors without a second thought...

[ He turns his head a little more, in a way that Riku could see if he tried. ]

So whatever my Darkness is like, it'll probably always be similar to yours. That's not me losing myself, Riku.

[ And with how sincere Riku sounds, he can't help but feel the 'weird cousin' analogy is apt as much for their shared Darkness as for their ability to simultaneously argue with each other while still trying to help each other. ]

You know, you don't have to take everything so literal when people talk to you about something.

[ He gives a soft sigh and a shake of his head. ]

Sometimes not saying anything can mean a lot when someone's trying to explain how they feel.

[ Riku and feelings are just... not things that typically go hand-in-hand when it comes to expressing them. Of course, when he's upset or angry, well, that's a whole other story.

Gently, he nudges some of his shirt back with the tips of his fingers, looking to the marks on his arm that have more or less faded a little thanks to Arden's ~~meddling~~ sneakiness. ]

At least it doesn't seem to be spreading.

[ Arden is quiet for a second before he looks back in front of him. ]

At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I talk a lot now because of all the misunderstandings I've had in the past. How was I supposed to know not to take you literally, with the way you arm and chest are right now?

[ He doesn't get it. Normally people give him a stronger clue in tone or words that they're being metaphorical or using a comparison or something like that. He really did think that Riku was referring to an infection since it was like something he 'caught' by touching Riku and all. ]

[ Riku's silent for a long moment and not because of trying to show Arden how silence can sometimes help a situation, but because he seems to be lost in his thoughts for a moment... thinking, wondering. ]

What if this doesn't work?

[ A pause. ]

What if it only makes it worse for either of us?

IC Inbox for empatheias

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