boundbynaught | Voicemail / IC Contact

[His head does snap up and to the right, then his eyes go wide and he goes right back to holding his face in his hands. Even though they were in close enough range to speak, he continues texting.]

Why are you here?

[He's so upset, but not at Edmund - at himself.]

I can't even talk to you.

[Edmund half-suspected what kind of reception he'd get when he showed up unexpectedly like this, but honestly he's just glad Cadence looks to be in one piece and unharmed from the outside, although internal injuries could be the worst of all. His concern for his friend outweighs any reluctance or embarrassment Cadence displays upon seeing him. He replies in kind, texting even when he could easily talk back.]

I'm here because I could tell you needed help, even if you didn't want to admit it. So...here I am.

[Tentatively, he takes a seat next to Cadence on the bench, eying him with scrutiny, mostly for signs of a fight or any other clues about what he's been up to tonight, while also checking him over for his overall condition. Cade definitely did not look like himself tonight - considerably more rumpled and subdued than usual, and Edmund could believe him when he said he'd been up for a day straight - but that was about all Edmund could tell from his appraisal. He slips an arm around the other boy's shoulders, undeterred by that last text.]

Okay, you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to. But I'm going to get you home and get you whatever you need.

[Hopefully he'd be able to figure out what that was by the time they reached Cade's apartment.]

[At first, Cadence slowly pulls away from Edmund's arm trying to comfort him. It was his choice to make himself this way, he just didn't think anyone would go looking for him tonight especially. He had only wanted a brief reprieve from all the thoughts swirling in his mind and waking dreams featuring Riku and Yurick all over again.

Well, sadly, he'd gotten his wish. Now he was thinking about something else entirely - someone else. When at last he feels the fingers around his arm, pressing in with concern and care, his body falls against Edmund's shoulder from his exhaustion and... and feeling torn apart even as he swears he'd made the best decision he could have. There's nothing Edmund can do now, or could have done, that much he believes as his chin falls forward.]

If I didn't want to talk to you, I'd have ignored your message.

[Subconsciously, he purses his lips as if trying to conceal its secret despite his own self-reassurances he knew he what he was doing and didn't regret it. The fact is, with Edmund sitting next to him, he's ashamed more of... something. Oh, right... breaking a promise. It hadn't been said aloud as such, not with that word, but it was as good as one in Cadence's mind. And he hates broken promises so much... he doesn't know what the alternative would have been though, and decides to clarify some of it for Ed as the conflict wells in his eyes.]

I didn't say 'want.' ... I said I can't.

[Sadly, the pulling away wasn't so unexpected either. Edmund's goal at the moment wasn't to make Cadence be friendly with him again, but to get him home safe and tend to whatever was obviously still ailing him. Cadence wouldn't be acting this strange around him without a good reason, he was sure, so he stays focused on that goal rather than let himself be upset by the withdrawal. But a moment later, with Cade nestling against his shoulder and slumping there, Edmund tucks him gently and securely there with his arm and side.]

Your logic is irrefutable.

[Edmund smiles slightly and gives Cade's shoulder a squeeze.]

That you did. Feel like telling me why you can't? You've never had a problem talking to me before, unless you were overwhelmed at the time.

[Surely Cadence would remember the other circumstances under which they'd texted instead of talked - happier circumstances, but he understands the core of why Cade sometimes has to revert to text, when spoken words fail him. The implication is buried deep too, that Edmund would have rather him be overwhelmed by the usual reason than by whatever is troubling him now.]

[He takes a deep breath and sighs. Would saying it or showing it be better? Well, at least one isn't getting shown, that's for sure. He tentatively opens his mouth, trying to figure out how much control he still has over his tongue, but decides against it. His eyes remain hidden behind his bangs. He is overwhelmed, but for a very different reason. And even though he can't summon the energy to tease back, there's a small bit of reassurance that Edmund isn't mad at him for not showing up even if he feels really guilty for it.]

I got my tongue pierced.

[But that's not the half of it. And he knows Edmund's smart enough to figure that out. He sits up to look away, not completely extricating himself.]

And something else.

[Edmund can almost see the struggle going on in Cadence whether to tell him or not. In the end, though, the trust that they've built over their times together and the parts of themselves they've shared before wins the day, and Cade opens up. Figuratively speaking.
One of Edmund's eyebrows raises delicately - tongue piercing would explain the "can't talk" part, but not the "can't walk" part. And then the "something else" explains the latter as well.

Ah.

Definitely not what he was expecting, but he's relieved it's nothing more serious - he'd been bracing himself for the worst, perhaps that someone had treated Cade roughly and left him in a bad state - so all in all, hearing that it was something Cadence had chosen to have done was comforting.

For Edmund, at least. It's obvious to him that not only is Cadence in pain but there's something about this that goes beyond the physical. He knows the other boy is tough, can take a lot of pain - he said so himself, in person and a few minutes ago - he was built to endure battle - but there were things beneath the surface that were responsible for this mood, Edmund would guess. You don't want to see me like this.

Something like shame.

Edmund's arm around Cadence tightens. Not going anywhere. His other hand reaches across to touch Cade's cheek and gently lift his head up, thumb brushing beside his mouth, dark eyes trained on his face.]

Let me see?

[He says it out loud - the first words he's spoken to Cadence tonight - as gentle as his touch, without command in them.]

[If Cadence had known just how deeply Edmund understood his contrary behavior, how intensely two pinpricks in a warrior's body could affect him and betray how the mental pain eclipsed the physical pain, he would have stumbled and tried to run away. For all that he sought a place to feel wanted in the arms of sexual partners, feeling the hand coaxing him to look, feeling someone reaching out to him in an effort to stop his pain but without anything to provide in kind... That was what he still felt uncomfortable with. And yet, he enjoyed doing exactly that for others. Contrary indeed.

The problem is he finds himself unable to look away, and thus unable to miss the plea in those eyes matching the comfort in his tone. It's as if Ed's not asking to let him see, so much as let him help. And Cade's eyes are full of regret. He'd wanted to keep a strong, confident appearance in front of this young man who'd managed to miss his despondent first days. If Sora or even one of the organization members saw him like this, it wouldn't have been anything out of the ordinary to him, but to have Edmund see him like this... he felt even weaker for it.]

Please... I don't want to remember...

[Edmund doesn't know what's caused that regret he sees in Cadence's eyes, but he's willing to be patient for that knowledge and offer in the meantime what comfort he can for his hurting friend. The expression in his eyes reflects all that, the profound care he feels for whatever it is that's sent his friend into this state of desperation.
I don't want to remember.

He doesn't really need to know what memory it is that Cadence is running from. The point is that whatever's happened since then has been an attempt to forget. Including, Edmund suspects, the piercings. This mood is far more than a rebellious self-expression or an urge to try body modification, he senses. There's something profoundly off-kilter in the heart of the young man who looks so uncertainly back at him...something Edmund does want to help if he can.

Cadence is right; it's not about seeing so much as it is peeling away the urge to hide, like he has something to hide from Edmund. And while he won't pry into what Cade doesn't offer to tell, he does what he can to communicate how much he cares, switching to text as he wraps both arms around Cadence's shoulders and pulls him closer.]

Can I help you forget?

[His whole body tenses at that offer, a sharp intake of breath accompanying it. Forgetting... yes, that's what he wants, but with Edmund, well... he can't really be sure if the innuendo's there or not. He tries to pull away again.]

Ed, I can't... be with you tonight...

[Mostly because everything's still pretty numb, on top of really not wanting to go down that train of thought at all for as long as he can manage it. At least until after he can sleep again without the nightmares hitting him.]

I'm sorry you came all this way. Just... let me walk home.

[Edmund's not letting him get away this time. He keeps his arms around Cadence while shaking his head, realizing with the texts that his offer was misinterpreted. His next words were spoken aloud, with a thumb and finger on Cade's chin bringing his face up to look at the serious young King again, his voice gentle but unmistakeable.]

I know, Cade. I didn't mean it that way. I know you can't tonight. And that's not what I want. I want to help you forget whatever made things get this bad for you, if I can.

[Like hell he's letting Cadence walk home alone tonight. He needs sleep, that much is clear to Edmund, but...perhaps that's part of the problem. With all these dreams the city seems intent on sending them, some of them troubling and unforgettable, and some haunting in how much he can't remember...

Edmund decides quickly that he doesn't want Cade to face any of those dreams alone tonight.]

I'm not sorry at all. I know there's been...strange dreams these days. Sleeping alone just makes it worse when you wake up from them. Let me bring you home, Cade. With me, to my home instead. At least you won't have whatever memories of dreams from your bed to face there.

Look, the trolley back to my place arrives in two minutes...

[He squeezes Cadence's shoulder again.]

Are you coming with me?

[His hands fold in his lap self-consciously, knowing behind the numbness there will be pain by morning. Edmund will see it, he's sure, and what then? How much will he end up explaining? If the dreams come anyway, if his memories start to crack under the pressure, if the piercings bleed or get infected or--]

O...kay...

[His lips purse again as his eyes close. His voice was so raw from shouting desperately in his bedroom for the thoughts to stop, plus a lisp as he spoke around the piercing. It didn't sound like him, not at all. To him, he sounded as helpless as his real age probably was: a month, give or take.

His shoulders slump and he almost looks like he's going to keel over again, but he manages to right himself as his eyes open. He ends up nodding, just to confirm what he'd scarcely managed to say before. What Edmund was offering was exactly what Cadence needed to get through the night, but not at all what he wanted to admit the lack of driving him to this extreme.]

I do want to forget, but not you.

[That croaking voice finds a handhold on Edmund's heart and tears at it. He hadn't heard or seen Cadence this way before, even in all the intimate moments they'd shared (sexual or not), but it didn't evoke pity so much as a deep desire to take care of Cade when he needed such obvious taking care of. And all the young King needed was that broken okay to be able to take him home and do exactly that.

He tightens his arm around Cadence's shoulder to make sure he stays upright and supported against Edmund's side, nodding.]

Good. I'll make sure we get home safe and sound.

[Whether it was lack of sleep or all the drugs they must have pumped into Cadence's system, he needed to get home and into a bed, and quick. Luckily the trolley was on time, and a minute before it arrived, Edmund starts to stand up and slips his arm down Cadence's back, a hand under his arm.]

Lean on me as much as you need to, okay? We'll take it slow. And if it gets too much, I'll carry you the rest of the way.

[That went for the trip from the trolley stop to Edmund's house, too.

And once they're safely ensconced on the trolley, settled onto a bench, where Edmund guides Cade's head once more to rest against his shoulder with an arm wrapped around him, he answered his other text. He could have spoken, of course, but the good thing about text was that it was something like a record - you could keep it or throw it away as you pleased. So if Cadence forgot any of this from tonight thanks to the anesthesia, he'd have the text as proof.]

Even if you do forget, I'll be here to remind you. That I wasn't about to let you go home alone, any more than that first night you wanted to remember too. This time, you're answering my wish to have you there when I wake up.

[Text couldn't communicate a smile, but a look turned Cadence's way could, and that soft smile was followed by a kiss to his cheek and a settling back against the bench. It wouldn't be long before his stop, and then to home.]

[He hates the way he feels like he's waddling even with Ed's help, and that he winces even as they sit down on the trolley, but he's still walking and that's the last shred of pride he has left. He's bound and determined to not let Edmund carry him because he inflicted this on himself.

The callback to that first night gives him pause, though - because it was in that sense, a willingness to remember or an intense need to forget, that he'd been alluding to. Not at all the possibility his body may just be too worn out to properly keep track of the evening.]

That wasn't what I

[Did it really matter? He's never done anything like this before, so he has no idea how long the anesthesia will last and what effect it will have on his shoddy memories in the first place. He doesn't get a chance to consider the matter further before he gets kissed on the cheek though, and he's startled as much as he enjoyed the too-chaste gesture from his lover.]

In the morning, I might be

[Waking up from a bolt of pain after such a welcome invitation into Edmund's bed? His luck really is the worst. So his addled mind derails the topic entirely as the trolley goes along.]

That apartment's not my home.

[Weariness and anesthesia was beginning to take its toll. Edmund makes no mention of the trailing off texts, nor of the fact that his reassurances of remembering tonight were meant to represent memories of them, which Cade was so afraid of losing.]

In the morning, I'll be there.

[He tucks Cadence more firmly against his shoulder, a hand cupping the back of his head and smoothing his hair. What Cade needed most of all right now was a solid night's sleep, Edmund's pretty sure from the increasingly more scattered texts.]

No, perhaps not. I don't know that my house here is home either, really. Not even with my family there. Perhaps home doesn't really mean anything in a place like this...but it's all we have right now. That and friends to make it more home-like.

[Edmund's rambling a bit - it's been a long night for him too, and he's really just trying to keep talking in that low soothing voice designed to make Cadence more relaxed, but it's a matter he's given a lot of thought to, how Peter's mansion really doesn't feel like a home to him. Whether he should consider getting his own place soon, and if that will start to at least feel a bit more like his and a little less like leeching off his brother's exploits.

The stop comes up soon enough, since they were already in the heart of the city, and he helps Cadence off with an arm still snugged around his waist as they walk (slowly) down the road towards the mansion with its lights softly glowing in the distance. It really is beautiful, Edmund thinks. If only it felt more like a home.]

This is it - my room's upstairs - are you able to walk?

[He didn't realize it, but he kept sliding further into Edmund's hold on his head. The fingers through his hair felt really soothing, and he kept half-falling asleep on the trolley. Each time he tried, inevitably his head gave a little jerk as he woke. He barely heard the promise to be there in the morning.

But when they arrive, Cadence staggers up and makes his way out of the trolley. When they start moving towards the house, it becomes obvious that Cade's current method of walking was mainly waddling with feet wide apart and occasionally rolling his ankles on accident.]

Kind of.

[He hates needing Edmund's help to walk, but he hates the idea of looking so ridiculous even more.]

I'm not sure how well I'll do with stairs...

I'll try though.

[At this point it's clear exhaustion has made him much more amenable to just about any suggestion Ed can think of.]

Edited 2014-08-28 00:55 (UTC)

[Edmund adjusts to the new pace and manner of walking, making no specific mention of it though he's longing to just sweep Cadence up in his arms and spare him the discomfort all around. He knows if he was in a similar situation, he would be determined to struggle through it until he collapsed...which still was a very viable possibility given how exhausted Cade looks.

But he doesn't try to do more than offer an arm and shoulder and side for support until they're inside and skirting the great room to reach the stairs. Edmund's rather hoping they won't run into any of his siblings on the way, just because the atmosphere of 'don't ask don't tell' is so strong around this house that he'd rather not risk setting it off with any houseguests shown about, even if the visit itself was chaste.]

Hey, no need to try. You need to get to bed as quickly as possible. Let...let me carry you up?

[It's more of a warning and a chance for Cadence to say definitely no if he strongly objected to this plan, because Edmund was already leaning down to slide his arms behind Cade's legs and back, urging him to relax and let Edmund sweep him up in a side-carry, 'bridal-style', which the imposing wind of the stone staircase should hint that it would be wise course of action for Cadence to yield to.]

[Let Ed WHAT?

But it's too late, he's getting picked up in quite possibly the only way that isn't going to hurt his front and definitely not his mouth. Although he's most definitely jostled into consciousness, he lowers his head and buries it in his hands.

Because, yeah, he's completely embarrassed.

And he doesn't speak through text the whole way up, since he has no idea what to even say to this kind of gesture. Edmund's stopped 'helping' and gone straight into "ohmygodyoudon'thavetopleasestop" territory. He feels small and helpless and dumb more than anything now, because he clearly did not think this plan through fully, never once expecting anyone to come looking for him.

The only thing consoling him at this point is the way his mind is racing to come up with ways to repay Edmund's kindness tonight.]

Edited 2014-08-28 01:06 (UTC)

[Cade's not actively protesting, and that's enough for Edmund. He realizes this is probably not Cade's preferred method of travel overall, but at the moment it's the best option for getting him swiftly up the stairs and to bed. And it'll be over pretty quick, since he's making good time up the winding staircase and up to the landing, which just has the distant lights from the central green streaming through the windows facing the back yard to light the way. Then to the left and over to his room, with a sign on the door, vacant. He flips it over. Occupied.]

It's all right Cade, we're here...

[And Edmund swings open the door to reveal a room even more dimly lit with sheer curtains at the bay window letting very faint illumination in, but even in the near-dark it's clear that the room is spacious and airy, with a large four-poster bed onto which Edmund carefully lays Cadence down, to sit or lie as he chose, whatever was more comfortable. Edmund didn't know much about the piercing process or even what kind it was - he'd only seen one in porn before - and so he just tries his best to think what will make Cade most comfortable.]

Can I get you anything - water, pain medicine, something to eat? You can borrow pants or boxers of mine to sleep in if you'd like...here...

[And turning on a lamp that's on a dimmer switch so it's just partially on, Edmund begins to rummage in his dresser drawer for some spare clothes which he sets on the bed, and then pulls out a carefully hidden first aid kit that has plenty of bandages, disinfectants, and numbing cream in it. It had been one of his first investments after beginning work at a BDSM club. He sets it on the dresser with a little glance at Cadence.]

Just in case you need anything. And there's the washroom through that door over there. Is there...anything else I can do?

[He stands in front of the bed with a concerned gaze fixed on the other boy, waiting for any errand he might be requested to run.]

[The way Edmund says 'we' makes things better and worse all at the same time. It makes Cade feel like Edmund is suffering along with him, and that should be reassuring that someone he'd only known well for nine days cared this much about his well-being. But no, it just made him feel obscenely guilty. Here Ed's offering everything but the kitchen sink and Cade can't even talk properly to give his thanks.]

Can I even eat anything?

[He certainly doesn't think that's a good option, but if Edmund's more rational than Cadence is - and he suspects so very much - then Cade's fine leaving that call up to him.]

Maybe just...

Just water.

And I'll try to see how I feel in the morning about dirty clothes.

[He's working his way up to a realization and isn't sure again whether this is good or bad.]

Am I sleeping here... and you are too?

[Edmund doesn't expect any reward for his efforts, gratitude or otherwise; he's genuinely doing whatever he can think to do to make Cadence comfortable, regardless of what his friend thinks he should or shouldn't be doing, or whether he gets thanked or not. He knows at least with Cade his efforts won't go unappreciated.]

Did they say one way or the other when you got it done? Well, water is doable at least, and maybe a protein shake later?

[It's one of Edmund's staples as part of his workout regimen so there's some on hand in the kitchen.

He's not sure exactly what Cadence means about dirty clothes in the morning, but as long as what he's wearing is comfortable to sleep in...]

Whatever you want to wear to bed is fine, all right? I'll leave that up to you.

[The final question gives Edmund pause for a moment. Was that a problem?]

Um...well of course you get the bed, Cade. And I was planning on sharing it unless you think that would disturb your sleep...I could go sleep on the couch...

[The upstairs rec room had a nice sprawling couch that was right around the corner from Edmund's bedroom in case Cade called him in the night. He looks a bit uncertain, because he hadn't anticipated sharing his bed would be a problem for someone he'd already slept with both figuratively and literally, and he's not really sure what the problem is this time unless Cade really just wanted to be left alone for the night.]

[He realizes immediately, fully awake now, what Edmund's heard in his tone instead of what he actually meant - that he felt bad, because it would be the first time since they met in person that he'd get to share a bed with Ed and be physically unable of having sex with him... I mean, yeah he could use his own hands, but he couldn't get off and suspected that getting it up alone would hurt.

After all, that had been his goal. Now he was already regretting it.

Both hands go out to grab one of Edmund's and Cade shakes his head vigorously.]

No, please... I'm sorry, I didn't mean...

I'm just tired.

And... hurting. In a lot of ways that you didn't cause - or make worse.

[He tugs Edmund down to sit next to him.]

I didn't expect you to...

And now I can't even kiss you.

Well, I guess-

[He uses one hand to tilt Ed's chin away so he can kiss him on the cheek.]

Did I say thank you yet?

[He presses the peck of a kiss firmer, then pulls back, looking both flustered and frustrated.]

Thank you, Edmund.

[Instantly Edmund feels bad that he even read that reluctance into Cade's text, when his friend and lover was in pain and exhausted and probably just trying to figure out how all this was going to work tonight. He should have been tucking Cadence into bed already...

He squeezes the hands around his and slips down beside him as Cade pulls him to the bed. Now I can't even kiss you. Was...was that what the matter was? That he and Cadence weren't going to be lovers tonight? Edmund bites his lip at the press of a mouth against his cheek, his newly freed hand stealing around Cadence's back to wrap around his waist in a hug. If only there was something he could do about the frustration he saw on the face turned to his so anxiously.]

Hey. I'm sorry, I know you're in pain, I should have realized... but it's all right Cadence, I'm not...I mean, I'm happy to share my bed with you even just for sleeping, okay? As long as I'm not making anything worse...I'd like to stay with you tonight.

[Edmund turns his chin and brushes a kiss against Cade's cheek, lingering there a moment before drawing back to look at him once more.]

And you don't have to thank me...but you're very, very welcome here, Cade.

[In more ways than one. He gives a last squeeze to Cadence's waist, then lets go with a slight smile.]

Let me go get that water for you, and you can get ready for bed, sound good? Text me if you think of anything you need while I'm gone.

[Edmund won't be too long in his mission, just a few minutes before he's returning with a glass of water and starts getting ready for bed himself, stripping down to his underwear and slipping just a pair of pajama pants on over them. Another day he might have liked to sleep nude with Cade, like they had before, but tonight he doesn't want to make it more apparent than it already is that all they'd be doing in bed was sleep.]

[... Somehow it felt even better for Ed to kiss his cheek than the other way around. It eases a lot of his fears, for sure, and just feels good on top of that.

Cade does think of something while Ed's gone and decides against actually texting it to him. He wants to see Edmund's reaction after the previous text - not because he thinks Ed will take it the wrong way, hardly. Something about the question just makes him want to make sure Ed isn't just indulging him when he says yes, or if he says no and still isn't sure about something Cadence can clarify. Whatever, he's tired.]

Sleeping pants like those sound like a good idea.

[Since he has the same idea as Edmund about not making a problem even worse. After standing up unsteadily to get his pants off, he accepts some help from Ed (again, argh!) getting the pajama legs started while he sits on the side of the bed. Without having to bend over, he's able to just stand up and get the pajama bottoms the rest of the way on. Then he sips the water gratefully and hands the glass back to Edmund so they can slide under the covers.]

Hey Ed... I wanted to ask one more thing?

[He leans up on an elbow so he can see Edmund's face, brushing one hand there fondly as Edmund agrees.]

Story? Of... Narnia?

[Yeah he saved up all his remaining speaking points for that question. When he gets an agreement to that too, he leans over to press a soft, closed-lips kiss to Ed's mouth and cuddles close to him afterwards, feeling so much better he can scarcely believe it. The pain's dulled, his mind clearing from the restless fog of the last day's events, and there's Edmund's voice telling him the story of how Gale slew the dragon of the Lone Islands and in so doing brought the Lone Islands under the Narnian kingdom. It gives him something else to focus on and in no time at all he's falling asleep, just after hearing that Gale's victory added a title, not just land, to the list of names attributed to Narnian royalty.

Yes, actions could make your name. You just had to be brave and confront the dragons. He never dislikes hearing about Edmund's past, but as seemingly short and small a story as it is, it's a pleasant one indeed to fall asleep to.]

Edited 2014-09-02 03:22 (UTC)

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Wrap up I think